That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
