wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
