I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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