You surviving the open bar?
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I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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