PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
