:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
