I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
...so i touched it.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
