They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
