I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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