I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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