Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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