And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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