I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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