I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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