My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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