did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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