I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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