I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize