Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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