Who wears a wallet chain?!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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