I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can I color on your dick again?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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