Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
being pregnant is like rehab
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
