i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
