Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just fell off a train. Bad.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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