How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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