Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize