they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
