I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
