If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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