I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
