he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize