If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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