and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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