hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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