I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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