I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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