we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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