girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
