You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
