piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
