Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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