So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
