I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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