I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
