He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
