i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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