i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
