my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
