i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ketchup is God's man juice
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
