So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
