speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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