So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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