i jhust puked up my retainher.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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