so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sober January is a disaster.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
