I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
