I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
