Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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