He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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