you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Sober January is a disaster.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
