Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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