I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
