I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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