I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
