Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
